Reflection: From Survival to Self

There’s a version of me that didn’t dream.

Not because she didn’t want to—but because she physically, emotionally, and mentally couldn’t.

She was just trying to make it to tomorrow. Just trying to keep her body from breaking down, her mind from spiraling, her heart from giving up.

In that chapter of life, dreaming felt like betrayal. It felt dangerous.

Because what if I wanted more and couldn’t have it? What if I imagined something beautiful and life handed me pain instead?

When you’re in survival mode, your world gets small. Your entire focus shifts to the now, the urgent, the bare minimum. You’re not dreaming of growth or goals or greatness—

you’re trying to remember to eat. Trying to fake a smile at the grocery store. Trying not to cry on the bathroom floor—again.

And no one sees that version of you. The one behind the polished replies and brave face.

But I see her. Because I was her.

And if that’s where you are right now, I want you to know something: Survival is not failure, it’s not weakness and it’s not less-than. It’s sacred, it’s powerful and it’s the bridge between who you were and who you’re becoming.

Because one day, that shift does happen: You start to exhale, you start to hope again, you let your mind drift to “what if…” without fear.

You imagine.

You visualize.

You dream.

And that’s when the real healing begins. When you stop surviving and start living, even if life looks nothing like you thought it would, even if you had to bury your old plans to make room for new ones.

I wear different shoes now—both literally and metaphorically. They carry me differently, they remind me that I survived, but more importantly, that I’m still here to thrive.

So take your time, catch your breath, dream when you’re ready.

And when you do— dream big.

Because you’re not meant to just survive forever.

You’re meant to rise

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